And Then The Fight Started
______________
My ex and I were in Atlantic City at Harrah's and I was getting ready to put $20 into a slot machine.
She said, "$20, can't you think of anything better to do with that"
I replied, "You're right, here, take it and find a taxi."
And then the fight started ...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex and I were driving up to Lake Tahoe and she spotted a dead deer on the road.
She said, "Look there's a deer that was hit by a car."
I replied, "Probably a case of suicide, now it's finally at peace. Let me get out of the car, and I'll walk around the front of it
while you are behind the wheel."
And then the fight started ...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex and I were at the mall and I was starting to pull into a parking space.
She asked, "Don't you think that space is to small? You'll never fit."
I said, "You squeeze into your pants every day. What's the difference?"
And then the fight started...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I asked my ex, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the grocery store?"
And then the fight started....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I tried to talk my ex into bringing home a case of Bud for $14.95.
Instead, she said that she only had enough cash for a jar of cold cream that cost $7.95.
I told her the beer would have make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started ...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex was standing, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She said, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight's near perfect."
And then the fight started.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I took my ex to a restaurant. The waiter took my order first.
"I'll have the NY strip steak, medium well, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nope, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex sat down on the couch with a bag of chips and a soda.
She asked, "'What's on TV?"
I said, "A special on fat buns and large mouths, is there a cure?"
And then the fight started...
_________________________________________
Reasons Why My Dog Is Better Than My EX
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ?If I died, would you get another dog??
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
______________
My ex and I were in Atlantic City at Harrah's and I was getting ready to put $20 into a slot machine.
She said, "$20, can't you think of anything better to do with that"
I replied, "You're right, here, take it and find a taxi."
And then the fight started ...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex and I were driving up to Lake Tahoe and she spotted a dead deer on the road.
She said, "Look there's a deer that was hit by a car."
I replied, "Probably a case of suicide, now it's finally at peace. Let me get out of the car, and I'll walk around the front of it
while you are behind the wheel."
And then the fight started ...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex and I were at the mall and I was starting to pull into a parking space.
She asked, "Don't you think that space is to small? You'll never fit."
I said, "You squeeze into your pants every day. What's the difference?"
And then the fight started...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I asked my ex, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the grocery store?"
And then the fight started....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I tried to talk my ex into bringing home a case of Bud for $14.95.
Instead, she said that she only had enough cash for a jar of cold cream that cost $7.95.
I told her the beer would have make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started ...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex was standing, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She said, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight's near perfect."
And then the fight started.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I took my ex to a restaurant. The waiter took my order first.
"I'll have the NY strip steak, medium well, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nope, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
My ex sat down on the couch with a bag of chips and a soda.
She asked, "'What's on TV?"
I said, "A special on fat buns and large mouths, is there a cure?"
And then the fight started...
_________________________________________
Reasons Why My Dog Is Better Than My EX
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, ?If I died, would you get another dog??
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
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| Here is some important legal stuff ... You may use the articles here, but MUST give credit to Jurge and whatbull.com in your posting. All stories are copyrighted: 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 I collect no personal information, other than what is used when you sign up for out news letter. I will never sell your email address. Leo loves ya man! |